My Daddy was one of the best communicators that I have ever known. I think the thing that made him so good at communicating was that he was an excellent listener. I always knew that I could go to him with any problem and that he would patiently listen, let me tell my whole story, and then give me words of wisdom. One of my favorite things that he would do was hear me out and then almost always reply, "Well, what do you think about all of this?" It was like he knew that I just needed someone to listen to me and validate my feelings. He would ask me a lot of questions that really made me think and that helped me communicate easier. Another thing that made him such a good communicator was that he usually was very to the point when he had something to say. He was not much for small talk and when he did talk I knew that I should listen because he had something important to tell me. I would love to be more like him and learn how to be a much better listener and to be a little less talkative.
Thanks!
Monette
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Professional Hope and Goals
I have enjoyed our class this semester! I have learned a lot of new things about myself, how others are perceived, and how my biases affect my work with young children and families.
When I think about working with young children and families from different backgrounds, my ultimate goal is that I always embody the spirit of diversity, equity, and justice. I want the families that I work with to feel welcomed and understood by me and by all of the teachers and staff that work in my childcare center. I want them to be able to freely share their experiences in a loving and non-threatening environment.
One of my goals for the early childhood field is that teachers would be required to read our anti-bias education text book before they enter the field. I wish I that I had been given the opportunity to read this material before I ever stepped foot in an early childhood classroom.
To my colleagues, I wish you the best of success in your future work with children and families. I would also like to thank you all for your words of encouragement, wisdom, and respect during this class. It was an awesome experience to share this class with all of you.
Regards,
Monette
When I think about working with young children and families from different backgrounds, my ultimate goal is that I always embody the spirit of diversity, equity, and justice. I want the families that I work with to feel welcomed and understood by me and by all of the teachers and staff that work in my childcare center. I want them to be able to freely share their experiences in a loving and non-threatening environment.
One of my goals for the early childhood field is that teachers would be required to read our anti-bias education text book before they enter the field. I wish I that I had been given the opportunity to read this material before I ever stepped foot in an early childhood classroom.
To my colleagues, I wish you the best of success in your future work with children and families. I would also like to thank you all for your words of encouragement, wisdom, and respect during this class. It was an awesome experience to share this class with all of you.
Regards,
Monette
Friday, August 16, 2013
Welcoming Families From Around The World
In my scenario this week, my family will hail from Sao Tome, which is a located near the Equator.
5 ways that I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family:
- Research the different languages that are spoken in Sao Tome and try to learn a few introductory words or phrases. Also try to find someone that speaks the language and who may be able to help me communicate with the family.
- Learn about the economic conditions of the country and the area of the country that my family is from. Try to find out what type of work the family was involved in before they left Sao Tome and offer support as they transition to the job climate in America. It will be important to learn how they view work and the different family responsibilities as related to work.
- Research the education system and determine if the family has been involved in any type of early childhood education program prior to immigrating to America. When meeting with the family discuss their educational experiences and expectations and how I can best support their ideals and goals for their child and family.
- Talk with them about their family relationships and how their family relationships work. I would ask about intergenerational relationships as well as the role of children in their culture.
- I would reflect on any biases that I might have that would hinder my relationship with the family and work on ways to overcome the biases.
By trying to have a deeper understanding of the family’s culture and finding ways to communicate with them and learn about their goals, values, and ideals, I believe that I would be able to convey to them that I want to serve their child and family in the best way possible. I think that I would be able to help them become more comfortable with our culture and they would be able to teach me a lot about their culture. Win! Win!
Saturday, August 10, 2013
The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression
I want to share a story of prejudice that still breaks my heart when I think of it. When a young man that I know was 16 he started dating a young woman from his class. I was not surprised when they started dating because they had been friends for several years. During the second month that they were dating he came to talk to me and was very upset. Her family had found out they were dating and were very upset. They stated that they liked the young man but did not want their daughter to date him; he was white and she was black and they did not allow her to date outside of her race. He was very upset and did not understand why they had always been fine with them being friends but were upset about the dating relationship. He honored their wishes and stopped dating their daughter but he was very heartbroken. The two went off to college and eventually found others to love. He has often told me that he still regrets not continuing their relationship and that he has never loved anyone in quite the same way.
I believe that this particular instance of bias diminished equity because it told two young people that they could not be involved because they were not of the same race. I did not matter that they were both good students, never got in any trouble, and had been friends for years. I still do not understand why a parent would not want their child to date someone who they liked and knew was a good person, just because of the color of their skin. I was very upset when this situation occurred and I was glad that the young man felt he could talk to me but I didn't really know how to help him. He talked to her parents several times, but to no avail.
I think that in order for this incident to turn into an opportunity for greater equity, the young man and woman involved would need to stop the cycle of racism. I think this could be accomplished by making sure that as they raise their own families that they encourage their children to accept people for who they are and to support their dating choices based on merit, not race.
What do you think?
Thanks for reading!
Monette
I believe that this particular instance of bias diminished equity because it told two young people that they could not be involved because they were not of the same race. I did not matter that they were both good students, never got in any trouble, and had been friends for years. I still do not understand why a parent would not want their child to date someone who they liked and knew was a good person, just because of the color of their skin. I was very upset when this situation occurred and I was glad that the young man felt he could talk to me but I didn't really know how to help him. He talked to her parents several times, but to no avail.
I think that in order for this incident to turn into an opportunity for greater equity, the young man and woman involved would need to stop the cycle of racism. I think this could be accomplished by making sure that as they raise their own families that they encourage their children to accept people for who they are and to support their dating choices based on merit, not race.
What do you think?
Thanks for reading!
Monette
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Practicing Awareness of Microagressions
This week's topic and materials has been a real eye-opener for me. I have been amazed at the amount of microaggressions that are in my environment! I wanted to find out if the children in my environment were experiencing as much microaggression as the adults seemed to be so I observed the school-age summer camp program at my center.
Sadly, it seems our children are experiencing microaggression and I don't think the children that are being offensive realize what they are saying. I watched a friendly dodge ball game between 6 children in the summer camp at my center. The group consisted of 4 girls and 2 boys with 2 girls and 1 boy being on each team. Every time that one little girl in group 1 would hit someone with the ball and score, the boy on her team would say, "Alright, not too bad for a girl!" He said this EVERY time. At first the little girl did not say anything, but she would roll her eyes, frown, shake her head, etc. After about the sixth time of him yelling this she turned and said, "At least God made me a girl, not just a boy who wears purple!" I almost fell down I was so shocked at her comment. I was saddened by the insults from both children. The teacher repeatedly said things like, "OK, that is not nice", "if you can't say something nice...", etc. but never really addressed the behavior and microaggressions from either child. At the end of the day I talked with the teacher and we decided that we really need to design some lessons and activities to help these children understand that their remarks and behavior are not acceptable and hurtful.
I have always known that adults can be bias and hurtful but I did not realize how much of this behavior is being absorbed and learned by children. I have always tried to make my center a safe place and a place where all people are accepted. I was shocked and outraged by this behavior and the lack of skills that my summer camp leader had to deal with the situation. I realize that even thought we do a lot of training for our staff that it must not be effective and I need to re-think how to help all our staff recognize bias behavior and effectively handle situations like the one I observed.
Thanks for reading!
Monette
Sadly, it seems our children are experiencing microaggression and I don't think the children that are being offensive realize what they are saying. I watched a friendly dodge ball game between 6 children in the summer camp at my center. The group consisted of 4 girls and 2 boys with 2 girls and 1 boy being on each team. Every time that one little girl in group 1 would hit someone with the ball and score, the boy on her team would say, "Alright, not too bad for a girl!" He said this EVERY time. At first the little girl did not say anything, but she would roll her eyes, frown, shake her head, etc. After about the sixth time of him yelling this she turned and said, "At least God made me a girl, not just a boy who wears purple!" I almost fell down I was so shocked at her comment. I was saddened by the insults from both children. The teacher repeatedly said things like, "OK, that is not nice", "if you can't say something nice...", etc. but never really addressed the behavior and microaggressions from either child. At the end of the day I talked with the teacher and we decided that we really need to design some lessons and activities to help these children understand that their remarks and behavior are not acceptable and hurtful.
I have always known that adults can be bias and hurtful but I did not realize how much of this behavior is being absorbed and learned by children. I have always tried to make my center a safe place and a place where all people are accepted. I was shocked and outraged by this behavior and the lack of skills that my summer camp leader had to deal with the situation. I realize that even thought we do a lot of training for our staff that it must not be effective and I need to re-think how to help all our staff recognize bias behavior and effectively handle situations like the one I observed.
Thanks for reading!
Monette
Friday, July 19, 2013
Perspectives on Diversity and Culture
I really enjoyed this assignment as I love to talk with people and find out more about their ideas and views. My conversations are summarized below.
Person 1: She is a new teacher at my center and she is has only been in our country for 2 years. She believes that culture is the way you dress, talk, treat your family, and includes your religious beliefs and family values. She believes that diversity is when others accept you for who you are and you accept them for who they are.
Person 2: He is a father in our program who recently got out of prison. He believes that culture means what race you are, how much money you have, where you live, the people you hang out with, what holidays you celebrate, and how your family is seen by others. I am not sure that he understood when I asked him about diversity but after a brief conversation he stated that everyone is different and that's okay because we are not supposed to all be the same.
Person 3: She is a fourteen-year old girl who is the daughter of a close friend. She stated that culture is everything about us. It can mean the food we eat, where we live, who we marry, how much money we have, if we go to church, and if we go to college. She stated that diversity is how people learn to get along even though we are all different. She also stated that at her school most people are not the same so she doesn't see what the big deal is about people being different and why adults have a hard time getting along.
I found it interesting that I got so many different answers. Some of the responses alluded to surface culture, such as food and holidays, but most of the answers were related to deep culture, such as values, education, religion, and living arrangements. I most enjoyed talking with the fourteen-year old and am excited that she has such an openness to others and recognizes that adults sometimes have a hard time accepting people that are of a different culture. I believe that awareness of these differences is a very important key to learning to accept others.
Reflecting on my conversations with these 3 people about culture and diversity I have realized that my definition of culture and diversity is steadily growing. I am finding myself thinking more about deep culture issues and how they affect my relationships with others and how my previous definition of culture and diversity was definitely superficial.
Person 1: She is a new teacher at my center and she is has only been in our country for 2 years. She believes that culture is the way you dress, talk, treat your family, and includes your religious beliefs and family values. She believes that diversity is when others accept you for who you are and you accept them for who they are.
Person 2: He is a father in our program who recently got out of prison. He believes that culture means what race you are, how much money you have, where you live, the people you hang out with, what holidays you celebrate, and how your family is seen by others. I am not sure that he understood when I asked him about diversity but after a brief conversation he stated that everyone is different and that's okay because we are not supposed to all be the same.
Person 3: She is a fourteen-year old girl who is the daughter of a close friend. She stated that culture is everything about us. It can mean the food we eat, where we live, who we marry, how much money we have, if we go to church, and if we go to college. She stated that diversity is how people learn to get along even though we are all different. She also stated that at her school most people are not the same so she doesn't see what the big deal is about people being different and why adults have a hard time getting along.
I found it interesting that I got so many different answers. Some of the responses alluded to surface culture, such as food and holidays, but most of the answers were related to deep culture, such as values, education, religion, and living arrangements. I most enjoyed talking with the fourteen-year old and am excited that she has such an openness to others and recognizes that adults sometimes have a hard time accepting people that are of a different culture. I believe that awareness of these differences is a very important key to learning to accept others.
Reflecting on my conversations with these 3 people about culture and diversity I have realized that my definition of culture and diversity is steadily growing. I am finding myself thinking more about deep culture issues and how they affect my relationships with others and how my previous definition of culture and diversity was definitely superficial.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
My Family Culture
Hello Everyone!
It has taken me a very long time to write this blog because I just could not decide what 3 things to take with me in the case of a catastrophic event. Finally, I narrowed it down!
The first thing that I would take would be my guitar. It's not really small, but maybe it would be allowed. Music has always been a huge part of my family's culture and I cannot imagine being without my guitar. I would take my acoustic guitar because it is really special to me. When my sons were teenagers, I had to sell my guitar to basically eat while going through my divorce. I had owned the guitar since I was 12 and it was a gift from my father, but you do what you have to do to feed your kids. I never told talked to my boys about why I sold the guitar and they never asked me about it. Well, 6 years ago, the boys surprised me with a brand new acoustic guitar for Christmas and it is one of my most prized possessions. All of my boys are musicians too and it has long been our custom to have Sunday supper together and then play some tunes. We also regularly sing together in church. When we take family vacations, there are always guitars on board. If my family had to be relocated I would want to keep this custom alive for it has brought me much joy and happiness and facilitates a closeness with my sons that is irreplaceable.
The second thing that I would take would be my family scrapbook. I would want to be able to look back on past pictures and family events and try to keep the memories of our family alive. In 1998 I lost everything that I owned in a fire (except my guitar, which was in my car, and 2 pairs of running shoes which were in my office at work) and the thing that I missed the most were my pictures. My sisters were awesome and actually called all of my family and friends and gathered as many family pictures and other memorabilia as possible and made me a family scrapbook. It is one of the most precious gifts I have ever received, especially the pictures of me and my Daddy who passed away in 1996.
The third thing that I would take would be my Bible. I would want to be able to continue to read and study God's word daily and a lot of areas of the world do not allow Bibles or they are not readily available. My faith is a huge part of my life and I would want to be able to share it with my family and with others if at all possible.
If I could only bring one thing I think it would have to be my guitar. I have God's word in my heart and I hope that He would provide with another Bible in the new place. I would miss my scrapbook terribly but my guitar would help me keep my sanity, keep me connected to my family, and provide much needed stress relief!
The insight that I have gained through this exercise is that all of my favorite things are related to family relationships in some way. It's not the "things" that mean so much to me, but the way that they are used within my family. I really enjoyed this exercise and look forward to learning more about my classmates as I read about their 3 items.
Thanks for reading!
Monette
It has taken me a very long time to write this blog because I just could not decide what 3 things to take with me in the case of a catastrophic event. Finally, I narrowed it down!
The first thing that I would take would be my guitar. It's not really small, but maybe it would be allowed. Music has always been a huge part of my family's culture and I cannot imagine being without my guitar. I would take my acoustic guitar because it is really special to me. When my sons were teenagers, I had to sell my guitar to basically eat while going through my divorce. I had owned the guitar since I was 12 and it was a gift from my father, but you do what you have to do to feed your kids. I never told talked to my boys about why I sold the guitar and they never asked me about it. Well, 6 years ago, the boys surprised me with a brand new acoustic guitar for Christmas and it is one of my most prized possessions. All of my boys are musicians too and it has long been our custom to have Sunday supper together and then play some tunes. We also regularly sing together in church. When we take family vacations, there are always guitars on board. If my family had to be relocated I would want to keep this custom alive for it has brought me much joy and happiness and facilitates a closeness with my sons that is irreplaceable.
The second thing that I would take would be my family scrapbook. I would want to be able to look back on past pictures and family events and try to keep the memories of our family alive. In 1998 I lost everything that I owned in a fire (except my guitar, which was in my car, and 2 pairs of running shoes which were in my office at work) and the thing that I missed the most were my pictures. My sisters were awesome and actually called all of my family and friends and gathered as many family pictures and other memorabilia as possible and made me a family scrapbook. It is one of the most precious gifts I have ever received, especially the pictures of me and my Daddy who passed away in 1996.
The third thing that I would take would be my Bible. I would want to be able to continue to read and study God's word daily and a lot of areas of the world do not allow Bibles or they are not readily available. My faith is a huge part of my life and I would want to be able to share it with my family and with others if at all possible.
If I could only bring one thing I think it would have to be my guitar. I have God's word in my heart and I hope that He would provide with another Bible in the new place. I would miss my scrapbook terribly but my guitar would help me keep my sanity, keep me connected to my family, and provide much needed stress relief!
The insight that I have gained through this exercise is that all of my favorite things are related to family relationships in some way. It's not the "things" that mean so much to me, but the way that they are used within my family. I really enjoyed this exercise and look forward to learning more about my classmates as I read about their 3 items.
Thanks for reading!
Monette
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