Saturday, October 5, 2013

Conflict, conflict, conflict!

Conflict is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.  It seems as if I am always having some type of situation arise.  It is tough being a busy wife and grandmother as well as operating my center, teaching part-time, and helping with our homeschool co-op.  Between all of these roles is it any wonder that I experience some conflict?  Thankfully, conflict in my personal life really is minimal.  I may deal with minor issues but that part of my life is comfortingly boring.  My professional life, however, is a horse of a different color!

The most recent conflict that I experienced was with a parent at our center.  She has a little boy who is in our toddler room.  She left a note on my message board that she needed to speak with me when she picked up her son that afternoon.  I hadn't planned on being in the office at that particular time, but I rearranged my schedule to be available for her.  Upon arrival in my office she told me that she was very upset with our menu.  She was mad that we had offered her child black beans and hummus.  She proceeded to tell me that we should not be feeding him foods that clearly were not meant for children but were more suited to adult's likes.  I explained to her that we had recently received a grant to improve the quality and nutritional value of our meals and that black beans and hummus were 2 of our new foods that we were introducing.  I asked her if she had received the last 3 parent newsletters which detailed the grant and also had copies of upcoming menus and a list and timetable of when we would be introducing the new foods.  She stated that she had read the newsletters but she didn't think we would keep giving the children these crazy foods.  I asked her if her son had liked the foods and she stated that the teachers said he ate them but she didn't believe it and she didn't know if he liked them or not but that she didn't think we should feed this to him.   I VERY patiently, although I did not feel very patient, explained, again, how we were trying to make our menus healthier and working towards completely eliminating any processed foods.  Then I asked her if she minded if we looked at the video camera to see if her son ate the food.  She agreed and upon review of the camera, we discovered that not only did he eat both items but he also requested a second helping of the beans.  She could not believe that he was eating the food.  I gently told her that sometimes children eat different things at the center because they see their friends and teachers trying the foods and they want to try them too.  She never agreed that the foods were appropriate but she did finally say that maybe he just liked weird food.

I used several strategies during this conflict and I believed they helped me resolve the conflict with dignity and respect.  One of the strategies that I used was the 3 R's.  I treated the parent with respect, and responded to her in a timely manner by clearing my schedule to meet her needs.  Another strategy that I used was nonviolent communication.  Even when she was raising her voice at me and becoming very agitated I just kept calmly and patiently explaining the situation and trying to understand her concerns.  I think that one of the most important strategies that I used was the cooperative strategy.  By asking her questions, explaining our goals for the center, and offering different ways of looking at the situation, we were able to adequately resolve the conflict.  

How would you have handled the situation?

Thanks for reading!

3 comments:

  1. What a great way to handle that situation! Also good for you for getting more healthy food items at your center. I think that parents can be very protective of their children and don't realize how different they really can be. As a parent myself I know that my son is calm and eats everything at school, but at home he acts like a maniac sometimes and is a very picky eater! I think that parents are going to be the hardest conflicts that we will have to deal with as teachers and I applaud you for handing this conflict so well.

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  2. Monette
    I think that you handled this conflict beautifully! You demonstrated responsiveness by rearranging your schedule to meet with the parent at her convenience. You were respectful when she voiced her concerns about the types of food being served to her child and you were reciprocal by asking her if it would be okay for you two to review the video footage of the children eating their meal. I really appreciate your conflict resolution skills at work in this example. Great post!
    Katelyn

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  3. You did a wonderful job. I am still learning not to get so emotionally involved and agitated when I come across a situation when the opposing party is having a difficult time understanding and become irate and irrational with me. It can be very hard to keep your composure as a professional. I would have just given her the menu and told her on the days that we serve hummus and black beans she can feel free to pack her child's lunch. Thank you so much for sharing your strategies.

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